If you have read my family blog, you will know that Sophia knows more than a 7 year old should know about cancer. She knows what it is and she knows what it can do. With her knowledge she worked hard and grow her hair out for Locks of Love, something we are all proud of. She also stood by her friend as she lost her Grandma to Pancreatic cancer in April.
Last night we told Sophia about Nanny. She was very sad, as we knew she would be. Her first question "Is Nanny going to die?" Why wouldn't it be and what a question to have to answer. After explaining it all we tell her the best thing to do is pray for Nanny and all the Doctors. Later, that is exactly what I find Sophia doing as she lays in bed for the night.
Sophia Faith you are strong.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Surgery
My mom had an appointment with the surgeon yesterday. Although she and my dad were hoping to spend Halloween with the girls here, the Dr. said no. It is sad that she can't come, but I am more concerned about her health and having her here for the future, so it will all be OK.
She will have an MRI this week week to determine spread. The plan is for surgery next week and what that surgery will bring is to be determined.
I am scared, I am sad. I hate being so far away. Tim said if I need to go to CO I can, so I probably will. I need to get things sorted out here. Sophia will probably have to stay because of school and I will take Ashlyn with me. I need to be there at least for the surgery, I know it will help me to feel better.
Still I look to each new day.
She will have an MRI this week week to determine spread. The plan is for surgery next week and what that surgery will bring is to be determined.
I am scared, I am sad. I hate being so far away. Tim said if I need to go to CO I can, so I probably will. I need to get things sorted out here. Sophia will probably have to stay because of school and I will take Ashlyn with me. I need to be there at least for the surgery, I know it will help me to feel better.
Still I look to each new day.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tomorrow Is A New Day
Oct. 13, 2009
My mom calls and when I ask how things are her answer is "Well...", not a good sign. It is back, the cancer is back. I am numb and I really can't process. Actually that is probably good because Tim is gone hunting and I have the girls.
Once I put them to bed it all hits. Of course now I have lots of questions that I couldn't ask when we were on the phone. I let my emotions go in hopes of feeling better.
Thank you Lord for the new day tomorrow will bring. I know the cancer won't be gone tomorrow, but each day is a gift and another day that I can sort it all out.
My mom calls and when I ask how things are her answer is "Well...", not a good sign. It is back, the cancer is back. I am numb and I really can't process. Actually that is probably good because Tim is gone hunting and I have the girls.
Once I put them to bed it all hits. Of course now I have lots of questions that I couldn't ask when we were on the phone. I let my emotions go in hopes of feeling better.
Thank you Lord for the new day tomorrow will bring. I know the cancer won't be gone tomorrow, but each day is a gift and another day that I can sort it all out.
A Moment Never to be Forgotten
Early Fall 2000
The minute I got through the door Tim insisted I call my mom right away. I could tell in his voice that it was not good. I am shaking as I dial and wait for her to answer. My Mom "I had a mammogram a couple weeks ago and they found a spot, it is cancer." At this point I am in my bedroom at the bottom of my bed and all I remember is the tears and colapsing.
Reality sets in and a million thoughts race through my mind.
What happens next? Will she be ok? I can't loose her now.
Surgery to remove the lump was very quick to follow. Good news came shortly ther after that it had not spread. Still my mom went through radiation and chemo. I stoodby and watched as my mom, this rock in my life, went through some of the hardest months of her life.
She made it through and each following appointment got better and further apart. She was in remission. That October (only a few weeks post surgery) we participated in the Race for the Cure together with a new meaning. I was honored to walk next to my mom wearing her pink Survivor shirt and hat. I watched as she proudly marched up the steps alongside many other women (and men) in pink at the survivors ceremony. How many daughters are blessed with the opportunity to be so proud of their mom. I knew that it was a moment I would never forget.
The minute I got through the door Tim insisted I call my mom right away. I could tell in his voice that it was not good. I am shaking as I dial and wait for her to answer. My Mom "I had a mammogram a couple weeks ago and they found a spot, it is cancer." At this point I am in my bedroom at the bottom of my bed and all I remember is the tears and colapsing.
Reality sets in and a million thoughts race through my mind.
What happens next? Will she be ok? I can't loose her now.
Surgery to remove the lump was very quick to follow. Good news came shortly ther after that it had not spread. Still my mom went through radiation and chemo. I stoodby and watched as my mom, this rock in my life, went through some of the hardest months of her life.
She made it through and each following appointment got better and further apart. She was in remission. That October (only a few weeks post surgery) we participated in the Race for the Cure together with a new meaning. I was honored to walk next to my mom wearing her pink Survivor shirt and hat. I watched as she proudly marched up the steps alongside many other women (and men) in pink at the survivors ceremony. How many daughters are blessed with the opportunity to be so proud of their mom. I knew that it was a moment I would never forget.
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